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Top 10 "Comebacks" When Asked About Your Cough
Top 10 "Comebacks" When Asked About Your Pills
If the 7 Dwarfs Had CF
Top 10 Indications That You May Have CF
A COPD CHRISTMAS
Fun Things to Do Before Christmas
The Ghosts of CYSTIC-L
Name the CFF Cat?
The Schroeder Family Touring Song
Top 10 "Comebacks" When Asked About Your Pills

Originally published on CYSTIC-L in May, 1995.

  1. I'm an extraterrestrial, and these are supplements I have to take to stay alive on your wretched earth.
     
  2. I'm an undercover police agent trying to establish a "druggie" image, and you're blowing my cover.
     
  3. I'm a psychology student doing a survey on the inquisitiveness/obnoxiousness of various cultures, and so far, on this continent, YOU WIN !!!
     
  4. I won a sweepstakes for a lifetime of vitamin supplements, and I'm taking all the water-soluble ones now. Would you like a few hundred grams of Vitamin A?
     
  5. It's the latest Oprah Winfrey diet.
     
  6. It's the latest Susan Powter diet.
     
  7. It's the latest Bill Clinton diet.
     
  8. I've just swallowed a self-detonating capsule. Please clear the area!
     
  9. It was the plans for the Iranian Nuclear Device. You should thank me!
     
  10. It was supposed to help me reduce my stress.... But then, you're still here.

PLUS THESE BONUS EXTRAS!

  • It's to prevent gas from the lower tract.. BELIEVE ME, you'll want me to take this.
     
  • Pill? What pill? There's no pill. You must be seeing things. Maybe you need a pill.
     
  • This pill is equipped with a very small camera. I'm filming my own version of "The Incredible Journey" for science class.
     
  • It's an aphrodisiac -- part of a sex study down at the university. The other part is they pay me to have sex with gorgeous members of the opposite sex.
     
  • It's an illicit drug. But don't worry. Because I have presidential aspirations, I won't swallow.

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